The Party Begins

The scene fades in to PWD's newest signing Nova, wearing an MWA black T-shirt and jeans and talking to someone.

SINGLE H
NOVA!

Another former MWA star comes running and they chest bump.

NOVA
Dude! I can't believe you got me signed with MWA, this shit's gonna be sweet!

H shrugs...

SINGLE H
No problem, fuckface...

NOVA
When do we start?

SINGLE H
We don't, MWA's gone bankrupt like 2 months ago.

Single H laughs.

NOVA
What the fuck Sti--

SINGLE H
I told you not to call me that already. Don't worry, I got us a job somewhere else...

Nova scoffs...

NOVA
Doing what?

SINGLE H
Wrestling.

NOVA
Wrestling? We're in the Wrestling business? What the fuck--

SINGLE H
Don't worry bro, bitches love Wrestling. Hey you coming to Muhammad's party tonight?

Nova seems confused.

NOVA
He invited you?!

Single H chuckles.

SINGLE H
Of course not, but a party without Single H and Nova just isn't a party is it? Chest bump!

They chest bump again.

NOVA
YEAH!...Hey bro, over there...

The camera now films a hot ass chick walking down the hall...

SINGLE H
Yeah I know her...I met her back at MWA...

NOVA
You're joking...what's her name?

They both look over with their arms crossed as Single H says, nodding, confidently...

SINGLE H
Leigh King...she's way too open though, if you know what I mean, she can fit two dicks in there.

NOVA
Two like yours, maybe.

Nova cracks out laughing now.

TBC - SINGLE H

Just as Single H is about to answer his bruh, a nearby door flies open. The camera pans towards the door as a figure stands in the entrance. Beams of bright white light shine out from the door as the silhouette of a man emerges with his hands on his hips.

NOVA
What the fu-

Suddenly the man jumps into view, laughing and slapping both men on their shoulders. The man is dressed in a purple and black tracksuit and has a wavy head of perfectly kept hair. It's all topped off by a well-groomed 'stache gracing his upper lip. The man grins and gives a cheesy thumbs up to the camera.

WHITE GOODMAN
Hi! I'm White Goodman! CEO and founder of the world famous GloboGym Corporation! I'm here with some exciting news! You see, I've just been signed to a very lucrative contract within PWD! That's right, the White Goodman you all knew and loved in MWA is gonna be right back on your TV screens in just a short while!

Nova raises an eyebrow while Single H facepalms, being all too familiar with the bumbling buffoon that is White Goodman.

WHITE GOODMAN
I know all you fat, lazy slobs out there love watching wrestling, and that's why I've taken advantage of this opportunity to broadcast myself and my company to the world! At GloboGym, we care about you and your progress in obtaining that perfect figure, which is why we'll give you access to all the equipment and facilities that you need! We even have on-site liposuction if that hard work is just getting a little too strenuous for a bunch morbidly obese folks like you! Come on down and start your 1 month free trial for only $499.99!

Goodman gives two thumbs up with a goofy open mouthed grin on his face.

WHITE GOODMAN
Now, I'm here right now to promote my newest programme! I call it the Purple Party Program Partying Package! Or the PPPPP for short! If I can be blunt, I think this lifestyle would be perfect for you two gentlemen!

NOVA
Bu-

WHITE GOODMAN
What does it entail? Why, I'll tell ya, stud! The PPPPP consists of whatever you want! It's perfectly suited for those who love the party lifestyle, or as I like to say, people who 'just don't give a fuck'! Now the programme hasn't officially started yet, meaning you two would be my first customers, so to celebrate this momentous occasion, you get to partake in this... ABSOLUTELY FREE! Hell, I'll even be your personal advisor! So I'm offering my services to you, right here... RIGHT NOW!

White Goodman extends both hands to the men for a double handshake.

WHITE GOODMAN
So boys... Whadd'ya say?

White awaits a response.

SINGLE H
Fuck off Goodman.

Nova stops Single H right on his tracks.

NOVA
Wait a second, H...White, if we take you on, do we have to pay you?

WHITE GOODMAN
Of course no--

NOVA
So you pay us? If so, I think this is the beginning of a beautiful partnership.

WHITE GOODMAN
Wait a b--

NOVA
A thousand bucks a piece every week!? You sure, White?!

WHITE GOODMAN
Wai--

NOVA
Deal!...just make sure not to bring your goons with you, they made you look like a buffoon the last time...especially that Jack Jones...Who the fuck was that guy?...I mean, what kind of football play--

SINGLE H
Ehrm...Wrestler.

NOVA
Yeah, whatever. What kind of dude was he? He sucked, dude! Now that you're bringing that mo' to our parties, it's gonna be SWEET! Fuck yeah!

Nova shakes White's hand as Single H pats White on the back, laughing his ass off.

NOVA
Okay then, we're off to a party, you coming White...?

White sighs...

WHITE GOODMAN
Sure...

He walks in front of them and Single H plainly gives him a wedgie. Nova laughs his ass off.

NOVA
You're getting laid tonight, White, I PROMISE you.

TBC: GOODMAN OR SINGLE H

Single H, Nova and their newly acquired buddy White Goodman continue to make their way down the hall. Single H darts in front of them all of a sudden.

SINGLE H
Nova, before we continue to gate-crash Muhammed's party, you should know something. The wrestling company I signed us with... It's not MWA, or PWD. I lied about both. The company we're actually going to is something much better, something a lot more flexible you know? It's a place where we can worry less about our careers, and more about doing what we do best - Fucking bitches and getting money.

They laugh and leave the building, White Goodman trailing behind them, still looking like he doesn't quite understand what just happened.

SINGLE H
But as we are in the wrestling company and we kind of have to go there all the time, I think we should make sure to be the best they have. You know, back when I was in MWA I held the tag team championship, we're good to go. I've had a good run in the tag team division... And you my friend. I have a good feeling about Single H and Nova as a team, we're gonna be unstoppable.

They come to the main road and stop dead in their tracks.

SINGLE H
Wait... How are we going to get to the party with no wheels?

Nova shrugs his shoulders, Single H taps his head and thinks for a while, but with no results. White Goodman perks up.

WHITE GOODMAN
Er... Guys? I know someone that could hook you two party animals with a sweet ride.

White Goodman says the phrase as cornily as it looks in text format. Nova and Single H look at each other for a second.

SINGLE H
That's funny, Nova... I believe I can smell bullshit, yet I can't see any.

NOVA
How strange.

White cuts them off, pushing his phone into their faces.

WHITE GOODMAN
No guys, look! I can hire us a limo straight to that party right now! On one condition though... You must allow me to join you in gate crashing the event.

Single H shakes his head and puts his hand on Goodman's shoulder.

SINGLE H
Of course, White. Do you really think we'd let you, our best friend, miss out on the party of a life time? You've got yourself a deal my good man... Now call that limo up, there's a good Goodman.

White can't seem to believe his luck he dials up the number quickly and walks out of sight, the phone to his ear. Nova and Single H wait on the pavement, kicking stones around.

NOVA
So anyway... If we're not working for MWA or PWD... Who are we working for?

SINGLE H
Some new company on the rise. Listen, it might not be in my league, and I know we could've got into a more famous or rich company, but trust in me pal, this is the place to be. These guys care not about getting any shit from anyone. Hell, the company name is 'Fuckin' Wrasslin'!

They both laugh.

NOVA
Wow, Fuckin' Wrasslin'. Modern Wrestling Association to Fuckin' Wrasslin'. Only you, Single H could have a career like that.

White Goodman walks back round the corner, he puts the phone in his pocket.

WHITE GOODMAN
It should be on it's way, you guys remember the deal though, right? I'm coming to that party with you.

SINGLE H
Yeah White, of course. Don't sweat it, me and Nova are respectable, honest gentlemen, we're not going to try to double cross you or stand you up just so we can have a fancy limo! Are we Nova?

Nova falsely laughs.

NOVA
Us? What the fuck, ha ha!

TBC - Nova or White

Suddenly, a large white limo rolls up. White grins and snaps his fingers as a man with his hair tied back steps out of the driver's seat and onto the side walk. The man strolls over to the door and opens it, motioning for the trio to get in.

WHITE GOODMAN
Single H, you recognize our old friend, Greg Steele? After GloboGym Corp disbanded in MWA, I decided to keep Greg on the payroll, after all, he's very good at menial tasks that I have no business doing.

White motions to the leather interior of the limo, complete with a mini bar built into the side of the seats.

WHITE GOODMAN
After you, gentlemen.

Nova steps into the limo, followed by Single H and finally Mr. Goodman. Greg Steele shuts the door with a pissed off look on his face and makes his way back to the driver's seat.

WHITE GOODMAN
Help yourselves to the refreshments.

Single H and Nova both grab a couple of beers out of the small fridge as White grins.

SINGLE H
Wow, White. Your goofy-lookin' ass is actually good for something!

Both men start to drink as the window in between the front and back of the limo lowers slightly. Greg Steele clears his throat, trying to get their attention.

WHITE GOODMAN
What is it, Greg? Can't you see we're busy?

Greg can be seen shaking his head in the rear view mirror.

GREG STEELE
I need to know where we're going, Mr. Goodman.

White looks at both of the guys opposite sides of him.

WHITE GOODMAN
Well? Where are we going?

TBC - Nova or Single H

NOVA
Let's go over to my place, get us a six-pack and bring it over to the party. Seriously it's better to bring our own beer than to drink beer Muhammad's pissed on for being against his religion.

They all laugh. Then look at each other and drink some beer.

GREG STEELE
I still don't know where the hell we're heading.

They all go serious.

NOVA
It's just down the road 'round the corner.

Steele drives for five seconds...

NOVA
Right here.

Steele gets out of the car and opens the door for the three to come out. They enter the building and in to the elevator, and then go up to Nova's house. They go inside and Single H goes straight to the couch and starts reading the paper.

SINGLE H
Dude this paper's from like a month ago!

NOVA
And I haven't read it yet, so it's still new, put it down!

Nova opens the fridge and takes out a couple of six-packs.

NOVA
Let's go...

Single H follows White Goodman and Nova outside. They again enter the limo without Greg Steele even noticing this time.

SINGLE H
Hey Steele, you want a beer?

WHITE GOODMAN
He's driving for Chrissakes.

Greg turns around...

GREG STEELE
No worries pass me one, I have a liver of steele!

Single H almost tosses him one but White Goodman catches it with an acrobatic jump in the back of the limo.

WHITE GOODMAN
Not happening, if the cops show, no party...And I wanna get laid...

Single H and Nova get hyped.

SINGLE H
FUCK YEAH!

NOVA
WOOOOOH!

White Goodman nods, confidently.

WHITE GOODMAN
To Hassan's house...drive, minion!

TBC: SINGLE H OR WHITE GOODMAN

Greg Steele puts his foot down and begins to drive down the road. It's a bumpy ride but that's not because of the road itself, more because of Greg's incredibly bad driving. White Goodman shakes his head and turns round to the drivers seat.

WHITE GOODMAN
KEEP DRIVING LIKE THAT AND I'LL GET THE YARD STICK!

SINGLE H
No, White. It's fine. Greg's driving makes me feel like royalty.

Greg can be seen to nod his head from the rear view mirror.

SINGLE H
Yeah. Princess Diana.

Greg swerves round a corner and the three best friends are almost thrown into the right hand side of the limo. White pulls out a massive bottle of champaign and pops it open, none of it comes out of the top.

NOVA
Sign of quality right there.

The champaign looks awful, but that doesn't stop White from offering it round. Single H and Nova are quick to deny it so White just pours himself a glass. He goes to drink it but just as it is put to his lips, Greg turns another corner and White spills the whole drink down himself. Single H grabs the bottle and throws it out of the window.

WHITE GOODMAN
What the hell are you doing?

SINGLE H
Doing you a favour of course, that stuff will probably make you blow chunks before we even get to the party!

WHITE GOODMAN
That still doesn't give you permission to throw away my personal belongings!

Nova sits there for a while, he reaches over to White Goodman's terrible looking shades and throws them out of the window. White Goodman looks shocked. He begins to breathe through his teeth.

WHITE GOODMAN
Stop. Fucking. Throwing away... My stuff.

Single H and Nova laugh, the car continues down the highway, Greg Steele still driving like a madman.

NOVA
Are you sure he's fully qualified to drive?

SINGLE H
Oh, I don't know Nova. Why don't we ask the gods of obviousness. Go on, reach out to them and ask them that oh so difficult question.

Nova looks up at the sun roof and begins to open it, Single H brings his arm down gently.

Greg Steele turns round.

GREG STEELE
We're almost there guys!

All of a sudden, the engine starts making weird noises and the car starts slowing down. Steele pulls over to avoid the cars on the road.

GREG STEELE
Oh crap.

Steele opens the car door as soon as the car has stopped moving.

GREG STEELE
We ran out of gas.

White Goodman looks furious at the thought of him not getting laid tonight.

WHITE GOODMAN
I told you to make sure you always have at least half a tank of ga...

Steele cuts Goodman's soon to be lecture.

GREG STEELE
Relax, I got a petrol can in the trunk.

Single H looks confused.

SINGLE H
He has diarrhea?

Nova chuckles. Steele leaves the car and opens the trunk, from which he pulls out a petrol can and starts filling the tank. Meanwhile, in a short distance, a couple of policemen with big fat mustaches are chasing a what appears to be a Mexican. The Mexican is across the street from the limo. He's sprinting towards the street, it's a dead end, there's way too many cars for him to cross. But like a maniac, he keeps running. He crosses the first half of the road, but then sees a truck coming at him from his right, he rolls to avoid it hitting him and lands across the street. The two policemen with big fat mustaches stop the chase and wait til it's safe to cross the road. The truck that almost hit the Mexican came to a sudden stop as well, while blowing it's horn at the suicidal moron. The truck is now blocking the policemen view of the Mexican. The latter quickly takes advantage and crawls into the trunk of the limo and closes it on himself without anyone, including Steele, noticing. The two policemen with big fat mustaches cross the road, they look left and right.

THE POLICEMAN WITH A BIG FAT MUSTACHE
Where did he go?

THE OTHER POLICEMAN WITH A BIG FAT MUSTACHE
I don't know. We should split, I'll go right you go left.

Steele looks completely confused He pulls out the petrol can, which seems to be empty now. The two policemen with big fat mustaches get on the sidewalk and split. Steele notices that both of them have their backs to him and throws the petrol can on the ground.

GREG STEELE
Fuck the police.

Steele grins and gets back into the car, not noticing that the trunk closed itself.

NOVA
Isn't it dangerous to throw petrol cans like that?

Steele closes the car door.

SINGLE H
Yeah, Steele, bend your knees next time.

TBC: whoever